The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to
Personal Freedom – Don
Miguel Ruiz
The four
agreements is a highly esoteric and philosophic book. It has a partly religious
touch, but it avoids referring to a specific religion.
The author
states that we are all domesticated based on the opinions of our parents,
teachers, friends and religions and based on our experiences we have made
through our lives.
The four
agreements is allowing you to determine agreements you have made with yourself
based on fear and encourages you to replace these agreements with ones, based
on love.
1. Be impeccable with your word
The main problem
is, that our mind is too often fertile for the seeds of fear. Instead we should
prepare our minds for the seeds of love. With our word, we can either cast a
spell on someone or we release someone from a spell.
For instance, someone
gives an opinion and says: “Look, this girl is ugly.” The girl listens,
believes she is ugly and grows up with the idea she’s ugly. As long as she has
this agreement, she will believe that she’s ugly. That is the spell she’s
under.
Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement and it becomes
part of our belief system.
The misuse of word is referred to as black magic, whereas the right use of word
is referred to as magic. Black magic spells are difficult to break, especially
if they became an agreement. The only thing that can break a spell is to make
an agreement based on truth.
Only the truth will set us free.
2. Don’t take anything personally
If you don’t take
anything personally, you are immune to the spells others try to put on you
unintended or on purpose. If someone tells you, you are stupid; it’s about him
and not you. You may take it personally and agree with what was just said. As
soon as you agree, the poison goes through you and you are trapped within this
new agreement.
3. Don’t make assumptions
In my opinion the
hardest agreement to fulfill. The problem with assumptions is that we believe
they are truth. Because we are afraid to ask for clarifications, we make
assumptions, believe in them and defend them, which leads to a wrong view,
drama and misunderstandings.
We need to have an answer to everything. It is not important that the answer is
correct. Just the answer itself makes us feel save. This is why we make
assumptions.
The only way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Have
the courage to ask.
4. Always do your best
But keep in mind that
your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Your best
will be different when you are healthy/sick, sober/drunk, happy/upset and so
on. Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best.
When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself and it will take
you longer to accomplish your goal.But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self
judgment, guilt and regrets. Just do your best and there is no way you can
judge yourself.
Some other
statements in this book I really love are:
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to
be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” -> Action
is about living fully. Inaction is sitting in front of a TV for years because
you are afraid to be alive.
“Our image
of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves. It is the reason we don’t
accept ourselves the way we are and others the way they are.”
“In order
to be truly free, we need to fight all fears we have one by one.”
“Forgiveness
is the only way to heal our emotional wounds.”
Regards
Daniel
